Monday, May 16, 2005
i think i have just realized how a blur and stupid person i am today..
got this really strong sixth sense telling me "diana, u tied ur scripts wrongly lahz, u die already"..
but then again, i dunno if i really did tie them wrongly..so the thoughts just keep swimming and swimming in my head..and i just hate it..
becoz no matter how hard i try,i can nv seem to get rid of the guilty feeling, tt i am so dumb, from my head..
i tried sleeping..it didnt work..i tried counting, watching vcd, eating, staring into space, eating air, looking out of the window..
nothing works..
all i get is the stupid thought tt i will fail..and then i freak out and feel like crying..
and this cycle keeps repeating itself ever since my paper ended..
it's like i been so stressed out lately, i get constant headaches and my mind feels like some atomic bomb ready to explode any moment, a balloon ready to pop, a rubber band being stretched so much tt it would break any second..
you know..i really cant take it lo..
and things are made worst when i have sleepless nights for the past 3 days..
i can still rmb the scene last night..me lying on my bed, me juz staring up at the ceiling in the dark with numerous thoughts running in my head..me juz feeling like shutting down the CPU unit of my brain modemn..
basically..my mind is screwed up now..
and i feel screwed up too..
so bye..
♥ poured out my thoughts at
3:02 PM
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