Friday, October 06, 2006
okie..
i know i'm bloggin FINALLY..
but i am not putting up
all those pictures
tt i promised earlier on in a post..
i'm actually bloggin now
because
i suddenly started thinkin bout my life..
and everything tt has happened around me..
and i just feel remorse, regret, and sadness
towards decisions tt i made earlier on..
towards actions tt i done
towards certain stuff tt i spoke of..
i guess its only when
after a period of a time..
tt u come to realize
how much the past actually affects you..
becoz..
i started thinking bout him..
bout how happy we were together..
bout the love and craziness we had for each other..
and i just started to miss him so much..
and i just hoped tt things
werent the way they are now..
and when i think bout him
not spending my birthday with me this yr..
i cant help it..
but this heart wreching feeling
just doesnt seem to go away
it just so unbearable..
becoz i still cant accept the fact
the fact tt he left me just like tt..
for he own selfish reasons and cause..
and the fact tt
after the thousand times he said
'i love you'..
after all those promises..
after the renewed promises..
after the lessons
we were supposed to learn from
after previous breakups..
he still left me..
i wonder..
whats my purpose in peejay?
why did i give up my mass comm course
to tranfer to jc?
and as i always stare at the
huge 'PIONEER JUNIOR COLLEGE'
words printed at the top
of my every tutorial..
i actually wanna feel proud
tt i am part of the sch..
i do wanna be genuinely
happy tt i went there..
i wanna feel tt my decision
was right to go there..
but the thought of me
foolishly following him there..
just to be with him..
just to try to not jeopardize the r/p
be with him more often..
see him more often..
study in the same sch as him..
it was really foolish of me..
haiz..if only love was easy..
♥ poured out my thoughts at
10:32 PM
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